Where is the praise in the prayer?

This was the job I prayed for, right? Dear God, I need a job, any job please.  I did I got a job as a teacher, I was so pleased I had actually got two and half job offers.  I felt really good.  The job started!

It seemed as if I was making one mistake after another, and on and on . . . Each day I would pray for a better day and each day after it was all done I would ask why?  Where were you God?

Home, where my relationships aren’t good.  I am about as popular at home as I am at school.  Finally, the midyear evaluation and mine was awful.  I didn’t think it could get any worse than it was last year but it did.

I listened to Joyce Meyer as she spoke about 1 Chronicles 20.  I read this chapter and thinking it couldn’t hurt.  The writer referenced all the miracles that God had completed and accomplished for him already.  He was confident God would do more.

Sad to say my roots in praising God are not that strong.  My roots are pretty weak and worse I couldn’t remember, really remember the last miracle God had done for me.  Or when he had helped me last. 

Today was the worst, I was asked if I had made any progress since my mid year.  The papers I had completed were judged not worthy.  Some of my students called me so many hurtful names.  It was awful.  Worse, no one talks to me as a professional.  God where are you? An email telling me that my next observation was coming next week  Of course I wanted to do it day before a vacation.

I can’t stay here God. Why did you put me here?  I don’t have very strong roots God.

I heard a small whisper of sound, I am here. I was there when I brought you through the cancer.  The cancer you were supposed to die from, remember? I kept your marriage alive?  The children you prayed for out of trouble and through their problems. Remember, the car accident, the one you couldn’t explain when it seemed as if the car went right through your car, but no one was hurt and care wasn’t damaged.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:16-19 (NIV)

My key from this verse was the “ together with all of God’s people.”  God considers all of us his people regardless of how we feel about others.  He made all of us and we are all of his children.

Yes, some of the children called you bad names, but what about the two followed you around and listened to what you said and how you taught.

I am teaching you not that you can’t learn and go through the trouble, but you don’t have to share everything about you and what you have learned. If I wanted them to know I would tell you and them.

Please God I just want to finish well.

I will strengthen your inner being, I made you and everyone you came in contact with today.

The Lord’s Holy people; well; God knows who they are; but remember all of these people are my children. I will take care of them and protect them in the same way that I protect them.  Remember it is through faith I am helping you. You have become to harden and prideful.

Ponder 

Remember, Paul was writing this in a prison cell that is the size of the closet I want you to pray and fellowship with me in the morning. Let me dwell in you, you are not alone. 

Oh, you may not know why this is happening now, but someday you will have the knowledge to understand the why.

A New Learning

Today, I was walking away from my class totally frustrated, on the verge of tears and vowing I would never, ever return. Those students are . . . A quiet voice said Do your job and I will do the rest. 

My job is that of teacher.  I have been teaching for many years and like the bible

My Bible is old and tattered, much like I feel right now.  I have survived Stage 3 Cancer.  I wanted it to be one of those awe inspiring movie of the week type miracles. It wasn’t. I went through four round of chemo, radiation, surgery and P.T.  But guess what I survived!

My career as a teacher and writer has not been the awe inspiring movie of the week type career. It has been much like how my Bible looks.  It is still my go to Bible, even though I have other Bibles to look at for inspiration.

Teaching, writing, two things that have gotten me through so much.

Today I was reminded of that my story is not going to be made into a movie. However, if I let God do what he does best and I do what I do best.  I will get through it. 

No I don’t know the ending, but I do know that God will hold my hand through it all. Just be happy doing your work and be a good steward.  Discipline yourself!!

Becoming a good Steward: Discipline

Hebrews 12:11 [Full Chapter]

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

My word this year is discipline.  If you read my blog, you already know this and it’s no surprise.  What has been a surprise to me is how often this word pops up in my devotions, my readings and my life.  I know I need to learn to discipline myself.

I admit I have become lazy.  I join things and then don’t participate. I even pay money; money I really need for other things to join this group.  However, after I few months, I fall by the wayside or discontinue it. 

Today I went to a new professional development.  My thought was I will go because I want those books.  However, on my way a still small voice says, “I thought we weren’t going to do this anymore.” 

The same voice reflected on the lessons I taught today.  I need to improve; this time it is no ones’ fault but mine.  I need to do my job.  Not let my job do me.  I thought about how hard my job is, but then I realized that I need to teach and do my best for the few students who come into the classroom who want to learn. It’s the students who don’t want to learn who drain me, EVERY DAY.

In addition, I realized that I have so much education, I have a specialist degree in educational technology.  The one thing that I have learned from all my classes is to reflect, redo and learn from what I have taught.

This is all part of the discipline of teaching. 

When I got home there was a Christmas card that had been returned.  Wrong address.  This from a friend that we have regularly shared July 4^th and New Year’s Eve parties.  I haven’t spoke to her for a year.  It brought back something a former friend said to me, I am lot of work and I don’t give anything.  It isn’t that I am a lot of work, I don’t have the discipline to maintain the friendship.  I want to maintain the friendship with this person’s whose address I don’t have and so I sent her an email.  I will call her tomorrow.

I went through my emails, Facebook post and all the other stuff on my computer.  I looked at some of the groups I have joined and left the group.  Two of the groups last post was in August. 

This is not just a trimming of the fat.  It is realizing that God has given me a dream and I need to follow through it IN HIS TIMING.

EPHESIANS 1:10 God has managed everything in such a way that when the right time comes everything will come together.

EPHESIANS 1:13:  . . . the good news that you were saved, and you believed in him, you, too, were sealed in Him by the Holy Spirit...

EPHESIANS 1:17 I ask the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory to give you His Spirit to make you wise and reveal the truth as you learn to know him better.

I am completing Suzanne Eller’s 30 Days of Life Shaking Study in the Word.  I like it.  However, I am not doing 10 Bible Study’s this month.  I have scaled down to 5 and will listen as the Holy Spirit instructs me in the future.

Finally, I need to work on my craft in writing, teaching and instructional design.  I don’t need to join anything else, I need to practice, practice, practice, practice and practice some more.

Discipline, the word with the line in it.  I need to develop behavior in order to be a good steward of gifts.   I need to draw a line and keep from going over it.  I need to be a good follower.